I understand that the Corona Virus is a real threat to our communities and something that we all need to work together on to slow the effects of this pandemic. But!!!…. The hysteria around this issue that is based in rumours and misinformation is in many cases worse than the virus itself. For this reason I give you my top 10 steps to avoiding the Corona drama.
Step 1: Avoid watching the news or reading the newspaper. Social media is another platform that may transmit the hysteria of Covid-19. Although you cannot contract the virus through a screen you can contract the hysteria.
Step 2: Wash your hands regularly. Like you should everyday regardless of a viral outbreak. Take this opportunity to include this hygienic ritual into your life if it wasn’t introduced to you when you were 3 years old.
Step 3: Avoid people wearing masks. These people are willing to pull down their bacteria magnets, just long enough to tell you why you should also wear a germ farm on your face. Masks are breading grounds for moisture based bacteria hence why doctors use a new mask after each patient. Do not confuse mask wearers at the airport for doctors. Although they may have an opinion they won’t be able to accurately diagnose that growth on your neck!
Step 4: Do not purposely avoid communicating with your Asian, Iranian or Italian co-workers. Unless of course they are jerks! But then again you should avoid those people anyways.
Step 5: Drink coffee. Coffee is for closers!
Step 6: Stocking up on toilet paper in the event of a pandemic is not your best use of your resources. There is not one reference to toilet paper in The Walking Dead or any other zombie movie. In times of scarcity you will want to stock pile tradable goods like cigarettes, iTunes gift cards and prison style shivs.
Step 8: Avoid using the number 7. This is why I omitted Tip 7 so I wouldn’t have to use the number….ohh.
Step 9: If you do happen to contract the virus. Do not go over to grandmas nursing home to tell her. Use the phone. By the time you find her phone number you will have probably recovered from the virus and can go back to your self absorbed life. Grandma can go back to a life without communication from her family.
Step 10: Don’t think of yourself so special! 7.7 billion people on this earth. 120,000 cases equals less than 0.p102% chance of getting the virus. If this was a lottery. You wouldn’t even buy a ticket.
Seriously though. The secret to avoiding the effects of the Corona Virus is to stay as healthy as possible, sleep like its your job, eat clean, stress less and prepare your body to fight this virus if it ever gets you in its grasp. Stay safe Glistener Nation! Stay safe! Ohh and share this podcast with your friends who need a different voice on this topic and a few chuckles.
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